Little Things That Matter

The little things that inspired the beginning of this blog were thoughts. Just thoughts.

Coming so far made me wonder how most of us rely on emotions to react to daily situations.

It matters so much for people to ask how we're doing. A simple gesture makes our day, it reminds us that there are people out there who still care.

In today's world, people don't realize how priorities, time and just actions can tell so much. A person can be having a sardine-packed schedule, but a few seconds of telling others that they still care matters. Time can be short, but a split second of action or words could change situations a 360 degrees around.

I've known that a simple hug can make one stop crying. An apology away from ego is all that is required to stop pain in any relationship. Forgiveness is the answer to letting go of hatred and revenge. Simple keys such as these are things we often ignore.

We tend to take people for granted. Human mentality as ours are sometimes thinking that they will always be there. At times, we think time can wait, people can wait. Little do we realize that time itself can't wait too long, and then, things change. We don't realize that the whole world could collapse, things could end, things we thought were there before would disappear. That's how we keep beating ourselves in the end for being a little too late.

Also, noticing little changes about others can change the way they think. Telling people how you feel about them in a positive manner no matter what counts. Being afraid makes you suffer. Be judged, but know that you've tried the best you could. Encourage one when they need it, you wouldn't know how much that little few words could gurd their courage. You wouldn't know how one day their success may source from the support you've given to them.

People around can throw so much hurts at us, but how much can we store? That pain, the only escape is to let go. I realized that having a bigger heart to love is better than preparing spikes. Sure, the pain remains when the opponent sees nothing, but deep within, a little bit of scars or tears. Still, we know these wounds heal us, restoring us into stronger and better people. Time is too short to hate, I'd rather choose to love.

They say embrace while in our hands, the little things we ignore slowly slip off our hands unknowingly.

Diving Into George Town Festival

"The Arts, Heritage and everything else is found in this little town; thus bringing about celebration of pride in it through George Town Festival."

Where to begin about George Town Festival? Too many things I don't even know if I can compile within this post of mine.

I don't even remember how I really came across this Festival having being so ignorant of its existence for three years already. All I know, is that stepping into this big festival led me from one event to another. From then on, the ball kept rolling and I just started revolving around it.

YES Broadway was the first event I got involved in. Having been a volunteer, I was able to crash into their rehearsals once in awhile to watch. The first person I remember meeting was Cath (one of the GTF staff), and that's when duty called. Subsequently, I met two other volunteers, Anys and Mabel. Having met them, they opened my eyes to a lot of things, experiences that we all shared together throughout the period of working together. We did crazy things like eating, being busy at merchandise, talking, and shopping to get participants needs all at the same time.

                                                    The amazing Mabel

It was interesting how I actually had a chance to meet the people from US Embassy, listen to their inspiring talk before the Broadway performance. I was also inspired by the passion of the performers involved in the Broadway, having that they had to bear through 10 days of hard work; a combination of vocals, dance as well as theater acting. The training was tough, but hats off to them, it was a really good Broadway show!

                                          Sweeney Todd song from YES Broadway

The next event I helped out in was the Pro Musica Gala concert. It was an awesome experience having to meet wonderful people. The participants from Pro Musica camp were great! They proved that they weren't just a group of people with pure talent, but also really great people to hang out with. Mostly, I would have to admit that I loved their amazing voices. The performance comprised of Italian and German songs but the talent of participants as well as the 4 main soloists were truly inspiring.

                                   Gifts to the 4 soloists - Mauricio, Julie, Kittinant and Ines

                                                        The amazing soloist - Julie


This other event was an event, truly inspirational. Once again, with voices of angels, I finally got a chance to hear how Madrigal songs were like after studying it in history of western music for a semester. Pure talent, powerful voices of people who used to be students like us, they evolved from a University choir into the Philippine Madrigal Singers. I can't tell you how much the audiences and myself were in awe, listening to their wonderful voices. I can only relate to you that there was a standing ovation in the whole hall after the night's performance.

                              The Best Personality Award to The Philippine Madrigal Singers

One of the other big event was the Manganiyar Seduction. The one and only event that comprised of a magical box and 43 Indian men. Their performance was really entertaining as it consisted of very interesting technical stuff, and for the first time I was exposed to a little bit of Indian/ manganiyar music. All I remember was enjoying the Indian drum beats, learning a bit of their culture while the performers were off stage. I loved their awesome conductor who kept dancing while conducting simultaneously. But one thing I know is that, we had to feed them whole lot! Other than that, we had fun shopping for their food I guess.

                                                            The Manganiyar Seduction

Before the last show, I also managed to tour around the little heritage site in Armenian Street. Truly worth, a place for Must visit if you ever tour round Penang island. A little bit of our history, some art, a piece I will definitely carry back wherever I go if I'm away from this beloved hometown of mine.

                                                  The famous painting at Armenian Street

So far, those were part of the events I was involved in, including Blinded Mind. As far as I have come, I'm really glad I have met awesome people here. Meeting the staff from GTF, they taught me so much within this one month of the festival. We went ballistic together handling food, backstage, participants and performers, yet, it brought that really satisfying feeling.

It wasn't so much for just watching performances, but experiencing the behind the scenes of a performance. So much for making this whole festival successful, trust me, it ain't easy. Crashing into the GTF office for awhile allowed me to see how hard these staff worked and worried over producing good shows throughout these one month. They had so many preparations, too many things to do, yet, they managed to pull everything together despite getting little rest. That's one thing I can say, I lift my hats to them. Such a big event, but so few staffs, and yet, a great festival launched!

I have learned so much from them throughout this festival. I made a couple of mistakes, had a few bruises in Manganiyar, but hey, it was great. I'm thankful for the staff who guided and exposed me to so many new things. It was definitely worth, and something you can never obtain at anytime of the year. It was great spending time with the staff, meeting performers from all over the world and working with volunteers at each event.

Lastly, here are some pictures to show you the crazy things we did behind all the seriousness. An experience and people I'll never forget.

                                                                Our Cendol break

                                             YES Broadway After-party with US Embassy

                                                       Merchandise counter with Hipo =)

                                                    The Staff and Volunteers at GTF :

                                  The Posers of Philippine Madrigal Singers. Creative much.

                                            The magical boxes of Manganiyar Seduction

                                                         Chilling out at Fort Cornwallis

                                                Dessert at YES Broadway After Party

                                                                     Fish at work

                                              Pro Musica Gala After Party at China House

The Little Inspiration That Bloomed

So close to the verge of giving up in finding hope. And out nothing, I finally found something.- Fidelia


If I had lost my motivation to think positively, I only remember them being due to bitter memories. Trust being afraid to be passed on of fear to betrayal. My strength became my weaknesses until I finally found one who knew how to cherish them.

It's funny how I actually thought I'd be inspired by one so close in age gap with me. I never thought I'd say this, but it's weird how I'm like a rabbit tailing footsteps towards success that you have already set on the path.

Then I met you. Then you made me realize that life is more to than just things or problems surrounding ourselves.

I used to depend so much on others, I hadn't had the strength to withstand circumstances on my own. You reminded me that life isn't about depending on someone else to shape it, but me myself to drive towards the goal that I've set. Through the words you say, you made me grow up so much.

"If you change yourself for others, then what does that make you? It doesn't make you your own unique self anymore." - Kenny


It's been some time since I've met one who celebrates everyone's differences. One who embraces and welcomes the opinions of others.
For that, I didn't realize how much I tried accommodating other people's needs so much so that I became less of myself. I kept having thoughts that I wasn't good enough or that I couldn't bring myself to the state of perfection.

However, you threw questions at me asking, "Why do keep wanting to be someone else? You're special because you are you. You are Fidelia because of the mistakes you make. Because of those imperfections and trademarks, that's what made you unique and special in your own way."


After giving much thought, I realized that we can only do so much by being ourselves and celebrating the differences of others. For that, I learned to accept myself for me. So many words you uttered, stayed in my mind, making me take them on til another day.

When you brought me a little into your world, you also made me realize that there were many things going out there in the world. You taught me to be sensitive to the needs of others. We share the same vision in making a change for the better in the lives of others. And for that, you gave me a greater push in pursuing the dreams I once had in impacting others.
Knowing you also brought me face to face with challenges I had to deal with. I was afraid but you kept driving me right into my fears, yet, standing hand in hand with me in facing those obstacles. For that, I am grateful because things are a lot better. 

You always tell me that life isn't certain and things don't always go according to how we want it to be. And for that, I've learned to be strong. I've learned to accept things as they are; living a simpler choice of life. I've also begun to cherish every single moment I have in life, making the best out of everything.

It's funny how we debated a bit on religion, yet, when I kept telling myself I was going to fail; you actually reminded me of the strength in God. I remembered the way you slightly doubted each time I mentioned the word "Miracles", and that motivated me even more to continue believing in the faith I had in God. In turn, I kept holding on to my faith, hoping better things to happen each and everyday.

Not many people will really understand that little inspiration planted in me, that made me grow up so much more in the person I am today. Life is only so much, but it's up to us to make the most out of it.


Dedicated to Kenny Tan.
 

Flowing With The River

"Rivers flow towards the sea. If we struggle against the current, we drown. The best thing to do is to follow the stream of where the river flows to."

Life is journey that all of us travel through. I've known as much that there are ups and downs in it.

Lately, I realized that life too resembles a river in life. As a human, we often struggle against the tides and currents; bearing so much fear to survive. We don't realize that the more we struggle, we get swallowed to the point we almost drown. We tend to be over-conscious of our tomorrows that we neglect the beauty embraced in our hands.

I understand now when they say, follow where the tides bring you. From there, we learn to float, to depend on nature where the river streams. We can plan so much, but how do we know where our river leads to? The only thing we can do is to follow and wait.

Through our own strength, we seek and find, but with a strive within. When we learn to rest, that's when we emerge back up to the waters. I've begun to understand from the nature that God has created for us.

Life was not meant to be a struggle. It's meant to be embraced each day. We do the best we can, leaving the rest to God. I look up into the skies during clear nights, counting the starts; all too many, uncountable. I sit by the beach, listening to the tides. The waves bashing against the rocks. Such beautiful nature. I see animals out in the wild, they survive each day, depending on someone more extraordinary than themselves. So I think to myself, if God can take care of these little things, how can He not take care of my future?

Through these journey, I'm anticipating something good for tomorrow. I may fall today, but with the greater One in me, I'll be able to get up again. So what if I fail today, there is a special course set for me. There are people all around us, family, friends who will be there standing beside us while we get up back to our feet. All is left to be done is allowing the river flow towards the set destination.

When Stardust Falls

"When a star passes, you grab it. You tame it. And when you release it, it will come back to you."

Someone wise told me that opportunity is like a shooting star. Life is like a gamble. We invest, and sometimes we lose.

 Life has it's ups and downs. Sometimes, expecting too much spells disappointments. Then, we tell ourselves not to expect at all; and then, that's just when surprises pop up.

I don't blame people for being afraid of watching others make mistakes. They often protect, assuring that we're safe, and not walking the path they have walked before. However, sometimes I find questions popping in my head. "What if we never made those mistakes? Would we then actually grow into the person or people we are today?"

When life throws opportunities at us, do we then deny it, or let it pass us by? Who lets something good walk by just like that? I have learned that life is wild, unexpected, and unpredictable. People tend to decide who we should be or what we should do. Our actions and words are often affected by the people surrounding us; so much so, that we tend to live for others and letting our real inner self die away. We deny our unique personalities and allow other people to grow through us.

Babies tend to mimic their parents, so do young children. We develop into what we're educated to be, but how much do we become ourselves? And how much have our inner self disappeared?

I've learned that life means living life to the fullest. It means living life according to what your inner self tells you to be. It's not about being afraid to unleash differences, but being daring to make a change. So what if people think you're odd? Odd doesn't always mean you're wrong, it just means you probably have a different mindset. Odd means being special or it can indicate change as well.

When life throws you roses, you don't just sniff them. You collect every single bit of them, making the best of them. Treasure every second and moment while you have them, cause you don't know when will be the last. Life is beautiful when we take life slowly, embracing every single passing moment.

So what if we lose? We can lose our face, lose love or lose the things we treasure most. But then again, if we look at the bright side, it is through these moments that develop our strengths, making us stronger for a new challenge. From there, that's maybe when another opportunity will fly by. Til then, we will know that we're ready and stronger. We can then grab the opportunity and with wisdom, tame it. And when we let go of it, if it's ours, it will find its way back.

No matter how challenging things get, hold on to your believes and inner faith. An opportunity may have passed you by, but there will probably be another one when the time is right. Meanwhile, while you have your star, treasure it with love. Don't stop being yourself, don't give up with the things you love despite opponents or opposing factors. Don't let go of the star, don't wait too long. Don't let your star become remnants of stardust. Cherish everything while its in your hands.

Life in Performing Arts

'Performance isn't really about being yourself. It's about portraying the idea that the composer/writer/choreographer has created.'

Through the eyes of the audiences, the stage means the beginning of not just entertainment; but judgement and critique. It is as similar as life is; quiet at the 'behind the scenes'. All that everyone notes is what's going on stage, not what's behind it.

Most of us have watched movies such as Step Up maybe; or Center Stage. Elsewhere, some people are aware of the state we performers are going through. But in our country, how many people actually really realize the reality of performing arts? They so often think performing arts are for people who are non-educated. Little did they realize that the challenge itself is equivalent to other forms of work or education. Except, our work is manifested to the public and based on performative structure.

In most people's mind, they often think that people involved in performing arts do nothing but perform.They forget that we too, have our own form of pressure; working hard to present the right interpretation to audiences. Yet, like what I mentioned, despite all these, people often judge from what is performed on stage; not knowing behind the scenes.

Most audiences are unaware of the blisters you get while dancing. They don't see those torn or wear out muscles you have. Neither do they feel the pressure of sitting in a room, getting all the right notes just to ensure that performances are performed at its best.

On stage, audiences see the smiles of the performer; but can't hear the fear beating in the heart of the performer.  Neither do they witness the tears throughout all the tough training received. And still, they are mistreated. Envied. Put down. Judged, for not being the perfect beings in performance.

Performers are like rare daisies that pop up. They are like squirrels that bear the cold winter. In performing arts, its not just about the brain; but the mind and body. Instead, it's about mental and physical endurance. Like the law of evolution, only the stronger ones survive. If not, words of people can often discourage; sweeping sand from the shore, further into the ocean. Yes, despite the words of others, we either grow stronger or weaker.

If you know of anyone in performance, never tear them down; cause you'll never understand all the pain or sufferings they had undergone just to deliver a simple performance to you. I, for one should know. And if you were one of us, so would you.

Give them your support. Not tearing them down. 

The Art of Living

"When you learn to let go, better things come by your path. Life is a risk worth taking."

Someone told me that, "life is about living according to yourself, and not to serve others". Indeed, it is. The thing we often get into is, living according to how people want us to be. But life isn't all about that. Life, isn't finding yourself; but exploring and creating a whole new you.

I used to be opinionated to the thought of others. But being daring to challenge yourself to the things thought impossible maybe the best chances to start living.

In life, there are moments we all fall. We need hands to pick us up. We tend not to let go of the things we once loved. Little do we realize that living in the shadows of the past can devour our very living souls.

Life is ahead and way front, I know that now. Letting go and having to move on brings us to a higher level of understanding within our inner self. We often look back, so much so that we tend to neglect the things found right before our very eyes.

I've learnt that ceasing life at its very moments are what matters most. The past can only be relived as memories, but unchangeable; thus, leaving us with only one option - To live in the present and make changes for our future.

At times, we think our heart has stopped beating or that life has stopped. In contrary to that, we do not note that although we give up on our own lives; as long as we're still breathing, life hasn't given up on us. It took me long enough to learn that. As long as breath hasn't left your soul, there's another chance that you're still alive and a better chance for tomorrow.

Exceptionally, there are moments where we still breathe, but your heart feels dead. Don't give up, cause there's always something better installed for each and every unique individuals of us. Hearts can bleed; but they can heal too given time and the right people. You never know, that one day, that heart of yours may find the reason to beat again, and perhaps stronger than it previously did before.

All I know is that people who have been through rough patches, given one condition that they persevere and not give up with life; you definitely grow stronger each day.

Behind every raindrop is a rainbow. Yes, the rain does come, but soon enough, the gloom will be over and you'll find that rainbow you've been looking for.

Never give up and keep moving on. I know this one thing: when you let go and take certain risks, or rise up to the unexpected; if you succeed, life will be even more meaningful than pondering in the past. Give yourself a chance and start living!