'Performance isn't really about being yourself. It's about portraying the idea that the composer/writer/choreographer has created.'
Through the eyes of the audiences, the stage means the beginning of not just entertainment; but judgement and critique. It is as similar as life is; quiet at the 'behind the scenes'. All that everyone notes is what's going on stage, not what's behind it.
Most of us have watched movies such as Step Up maybe; or Center Stage. Elsewhere, some people are aware of the state we performers are going through. But in our country, how many people actually really realize the reality of performing arts? They so often think performing arts are for people who are non-educated. Little did they realize that the challenge itself is equivalent to other forms of work or education. Except, our work is manifested to the public and based on performative structure.
In most people's mind, they often think that people involved in performing arts do nothing but perform.They forget that we too, have our own form of pressure; working hard to present the right interpretation to audiences. Yet, like what I mentioned, despite all these, people often judge from what is performed on stage; not knowing behind the scenes.
Most audiences are unaware of the blisters you get while dancing. They don't see those torn or wear out muscles you have. Neither do they feel the pressure of sitting in a room, getting all the right notes just to ensure that performances are performed at its best.
On stage, audiences see the smiles of the performer; but can't hear the fear beating in the heart of the performer. Neither do they witness the tears throughout all the tough training received. And still, they are mistreated. Envied. Put down. Judged, for not being the perfect beings in performance.
Performers are like rare daisies that pop up. They are like squirrels that bear the cold winter. In performing arts, its not just about the brain; but the mind and body. Instead, it's about mental and physical endurance. Like the law of evolution, only the stronger ones survive. If not, words of people can often discourage; sweeping sand from the shore, further into the ocean. Yes, despite the words of others, we either grow stronger or weaker.
If you know of anyone in performance, never tear them down; cause you'll never understand all the pain or sufferings they had undergone just to deliver a simple performance to you. I, for one should know. And if you were one of us, so would you.
Give them your support. Not tearing them down.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
The Art of Living
"When you learn to let go, better things come by your path. Life is a risk worth taking."
Someone told me that, "life is about living according to yourself, and not to serve others". Indeed, it is. The thing we often get into is, living according to how people want us to be. But life isn't all about that. Life, isn't finding yourself; but exploring and creating a whole new you.
I used to be opinionated to the thought of others. But being daring to challenge yourself to the things thought impossible maybe the best chances to start living.
In life, there are moments we all fall. We need hands to pick us up. We tend not to let go of the things we once loved. Little do we realize that living in the shadows of the past can devour our very living souls.
Life is ahead and way front, I know that now. Letting go and having to move on brings us to a higher level of understanding within our inner self. We often look back, so much so that we tend to neglect the things found right before our very eyes.
I've learnt that ceasing life at its very moments are what matters most. The past can only be relived as memories, but unchangeable; thus, leaving us with only one option - To live in the present and make changes for our future.
At times, we think our heart has stopped beating or that life has stopped. In contrary to that, we do not note that although we give up on our own lives; as long as we're still breathing, life hasn't given up on us. It took me long enough to learn that. As long as breath hasn't left your soul, there's another chance that you're still alive and a better chance for tomorrow.
Exceptionally, there are moments where we still breathe, but your heart feels dead. Don't give up, cause there's always something better installed for each and every unique individuals of us. Hearts can bleed; but they can heal too given time and the right people. You never know, that one day, that heart of yours may find the reason to beat again, and perhaps stronger than it previously did before.
All I know is that people who have been through rough patches, given one condition that they persevere and not give up with life; you definitely grow stronger each day.
Behind every raindrop is a rainbow. Yes, the rain does come, but soon enough, the gloom will be over and you'll find that rainbow you've been looking for.
Never give up and keep moving on. I know this one thing: when you let go and take certain risks, or rise up to the unexpected; if you succeed, life will be even more meaningful than pondering in the past. Give yourself a chance and start living!
Someone told me that, "life is about living according to yourself, and not to serve others". Indeed, it is. The thing we often get into is, living according to how people want us to be. But life isn't all about that. Life, isn't finding yourself; but exploring and creating a whole new you.
I used to be opinionated to the thought of others. But being daring to challenge yourself to the things thought impossible maybe the best chances to start living.
In life, there are moments we all fall. We need hands to pick us up. We tend not to let go of the things we once loved. Little do we realize that living in the shadows of the past can devour our very living souls.
Life is ahead and way front, I know that now. Letting go and having to move on brings us to a higher level of understanding within our inner self. We often look back, so much so that we tend to neglect the things found right before our very eyes.
I've learnt that ceasing life at its very moments are what matters most. The past can only be relived as memories, but unchangeable; thus, leaving us with only one option - To live in the present and make changes for our future.
At times, we think our heart has stopped beating or that life has stopped. In contrary to that, we do not note that although we give up on our own lives; as long as we're still breathing, life hasn't given up on us. It took me long enough to learn that. As long as breath hasn't left your soul, there's another chance that you're still alive and a better chance for tomorrow.
Exceptionally, there are moments where we still breathe, but your heart feels dead. Don't give up, cause there's always something better installed for each and every unique individuals of us. Hearts can bleed; but they can heal too given time and the right people. You never know, that one day, that heart of yours may find the reason to beat again, and perhaps stronger than it previously did before.
All I know is that people who have been through rough patches, given one condition that they persevere and not give up with life; you definitely grow stronger each day.
Behind every raindrop is a rainbow. Yes, the rain does come, but soon enough, the gloom will be over and you'll find that rainbow you've been looking for.
Never give up and keep moving on. I know this one thing: when you let go and take certain risks, or rise up to the unexpected; if you succeed, life will be even more meaningful than pondering in the past. Give yourself a chance and start living!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
To Hold On Or Let Go of Desires?
"Should I hold on or let go?"
I wonder how many of you actually have wishes and dreams; but you just know it's not possible? Nevertheless, you just wait. And wait.
The things that we desire for, sometimes don't cross our paths. They seem all so close, but it's like reaching for painted stars in the skies. You see them, yet, so far from reach.
I wonder if everyone has something perfect designed for them?
Sometimes, having to think of these desires we dream of; they are impossible to achieve. But what if, somehow, there was a possibility to it?
Deep down, I wonder if there is something installed for the best in future. I wonder does it have to wait, or is it that I'm just not anywhere near there?
What happens if you're close enough, but you don't know if it's the right thing to do? Or maybe, you don't know if it's even supposed to be routed as such?
Life is full of surprises and metaphores.
Sometimes, I find myself drowned in memories and daydreams of what if, or, just if.
I find myself hoping for things, at to my surprise, it does come true. Not all of it of course, but how nice if it would be as such.
Hoping can bring us closer to our dreams, but to what extend? What if these hopes turn around and crush us instead? Would it then tear our motivation towards something we're geared to?
Hope less, I guess. And just have faith that things are gonna work out the way we want it to be. Maybe that's the best solution for questions as these.
I wonder how many of you actually have wishes and dreams; but you just know it's not possible? Nevertheless, you just wait. And wait.
The things that we desire for, sometimes don't cross our paths. They seem all so close, but it's like reaching for painted stars in the skies. You see them, yet, so far from reach.
I wonder if everyone has something perfect designed for them?
Sometimes, having to think of these desires we dream of; they are impossible to achieve. But what if, somehow, there was a possibility to it?
Deep down, I wonder if there is something installed for the best in future. I wonder does it have to wait, or is it that I'm just not anywhere near there?
What happens if you're close enough, but you don't know if it's the right thing to do? Or maybe, you don't know if it's even supposed to be routed as such?
Life is full of surprises and metaphores.
Sometimes, I find myself drowned in memories and daydreams of what if, or, just if.
I find myself hoping for things, at to my surprise, it does come true. Not all of it of course, but how nice if it would be as such.
Hoping can bring us closer to our dreams, but to what extend? What if these hopes turn around and crush us instead? Would it then tear our motivation towards something we're geared to?
Hope less, I guess. And just have faith that things are gonna work out the way we want it to be. Maybe that's the best solution for questions as these.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Opaque
How did things that seemed perfectly crystal suddenly turn opaque?
One thing's for sure I thought, I knew what I'd judge from my own taste would be as right for me. Somehow, I seem wrong.
Yes, change may turn good or bad. I used to comprehend every single thing of you. I still do. But I wonder when will be the time, we get over the past? When to start moving on and forget the person I used to be?
People don't wanna be judge for the person they used to be. There is a quote saying, you haven't changed, you're still your perfect self; but maybe, I've changed. Probably that change in my life is something you don't want anymore.
All I know is that a person may accept you, but what if they don't like your life? It might as well mean, not wanting the other half of you.
A person can do so much, but how much more will they be remembered?
People often evolve the bad things a person used to be, but do they stop to think for a second; the good things you tried to do?
Does this then clear the past? Nothing can be erased, however, we always hope that people will soon enough embrace the changes in us.
Life is about living, making mistakes; and most importantly learning to deal with it. Life can only mean nothing if we stop trying, or keep reliving the past.
Move forward and let life take you on a new journey.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Unforseen, The Untold
There's a moment when everything seems right. All of a sudden, it seems like it's wrong.
Have you ever gotten that feeling before?
For a second it's bright, then a second later; shadows overcasting.
I'm wondering if things are supposedly what's right.
What if everything falls into place; but all of a sudden it's in the biggest mess??
Things get difficult; life's so unpredictable. I'm beginning to get a hang of one thing in life; that what is; it's never constant.
Even of late, the skies don't know their heading or sense of direction. Cloudy for a second; the next, it's all bright. Then a few seconds later; heavy downpour.
There are times when one can have the warmest sensations and the next second; a chill of ice.
People say that when the tough gets going, the going gets tough. (Or is it phrased the other way round?) Anyway, yeah, when things seem at the deepest depth, I guess, that's where we have to wait for the light to shine in. Ever felt like there's a darkness swallowing you, that you'll never get out of? Or the road that you chose seemed to be under construction with obstruction at the moment? These are probably the times that confuse people like me; making me wonder, if I stepped right in the first place.
What if I'm just not good enough to make it through? What if this was just a mere mistake? What if I had the choices that will pull me down instead of making me rise up above all odds?
There are moments I'd wish that everything would turn out perfectly smooth without a rough ditch or break in between. There's a moment to be lost, hoping that somehow, you'll get out of it. Maybe that's what I'm waiting for. Maybe that's what I need right now.
The sun will come out tomorrow...
Shadows cease,
Lightning strucks,
Where's the sun?
The trees dies and weeds grow,
Where's the roses in the meadow.
Let the sun down,
Wait for dawn,
In hope that ice will melt,
For buds to spring.
Have you ever gotten that feeling before?
For a second it's bright, then a second later; shadows overcasting.
I'm wondering if things are supposedly what's right.
What if everything falls into place; but all of a sudden it's in the biggest mess??
Things get difficult; life's so unpredictable. I'm beginning to get a hang of one thing in life; that what is; it's never constant.
Even of late, the skies don't know their heading or sense of direction. Cloudy for a second; the next, it's all bright. Then a few seconds later; heavy downpour.
There are times when one can have the warmest sensations and the next second; a chill of ice.
People say that when the tough gets going, the going gets tough. (Or is it phrased the other way round?) Anyway, yeah, when things seem at the deepest depth, I guess, that's where we have to wait for the light to shine in. Ever felt like there's a darkness swallowing you, that you'll never get out of? Or the road that you chose seemed to be under construction with obstruction at the moment? These are probably the times that confuse people like me; making me wonder, if I stepped right in the first place.
What if I'm just not good enough to make it through? What if this was just a mere mistake? What if I had the choices that will pull me down instead of making me rise up above all odds?
There are moments I'd wish that everything would turn out perfectly smooth without a rough ditch or break in between. There's a moment to be lost, hoping that somehow, you'll get out of it. Maybe that's what I'm waiting for. Maybe that's what I need right now.
The sun will come out tomorrow...
Shadows cease,
Lightning strucks,
Where's the sun?
The trees dies and weeds grow,
Where's the roses in the meadow.
Let the sun down,
Wait for dawn,
In hope that ice will melt,
For buds to spring.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
A little tougher in uni
Hey people,
I'm back; but I probably think I'll be updating less and less as time passes by. Recital is coming up in a couple of weeks and I'm totally clueless. God knows how I'm gonna survive out there since I've barely gotten through my pieces. I guess it will be a miracle if I can firstly, get my pieces MEMORIZED by then.
I would have to admit that uni life is totally a cool and unique experience. For one thing, we get to grab late suppers with coursemates and chit chat til...we're satisfied perhaps. The downside however, trying to cope with ample war to practise, maintaining good social life, participating in college activities while maintaining grades and completing assignments at the same time. Probably, I would have to admit that uni life, although being in the music stream can pretty much equal up to difficulty of any other faculties. We pick up techniques in a short term and are expected to launch with full performance speed throughout. Really glad for dedicated and good lecturers; but I think their awesomeness slash perfection kinda scares me off. I get the pressure and my perfect coursemates, are the reason to push me to stop slacking.
Despite tension, really glad to have caring friends and seniors who encourage me and motivate me towards my goal. I understand now when they mention that without a good circle of friends, you can't go far. That's because in uni, you can't afford to be on your own.
Being in uni made me realize many important things, that's to treasure the people and family you have around you while they are near. You wouldn't know what it feels like til you're far away and you get that feeling wishing they could be there sometimes.
Life in uni gets tough at times, but I know that it will be an experience to keep and hold for a long time. Hopefully, I'll get to pass this stage as a stronger person.
P/s: I don't like queue-ing for washing machiness!!
I'm back; but I probably think I'll be updating less and less as time passes by. Recital is coming up in a couple of weeks and I'm totally clueless. God knows how I'm gonna survive out there since I've barely gotten through my pieces. I guess it will be a miracle if I can firstly, get my pieces MEMORIZED by then.
I would have to admit that uni life is totally a cool and unique experience. For one thing, we get to grab late suppers with coursemates and chit chat til...we're satisfied perhaps. The downside however, trying to cope with ample war to practise, maintaining good social life, participating in college activities while maintaining grades and completing assignments at the same time. Probably, I would have to admit that uni life, although being in the music stream can pretty much equal up to difficulty of any other faculties. We pick up techniques in a short term and are expected to launch with full performance speed throughout. Really glad for dedicated and good lecturers; but I think their awesomeness slash perfection kinda scares me off. I get the pressure and my perfect coursemates, are the reason to push me to stop slacking.
Despite tension, really glad to have caring friends and seniors who encourage me and motivate me towards my goal. I understand now when they mention that without a good circle of friends, you can't go far. That's because in uni, you can't afford to be on your own.
Being in uni made me realize many important things, that's to treasure the people and family you have around you while they are near. You wouldn't know what it feels like til you're far away and you get that feeling wishing they could be there sometimes.
Life in uni gets tough at times, but I know that it will be an experience to keep and hold for a long time. Hopefully, I'll get to pass this stage as a stronger person.
P/s: I don't like queue-ing for washing machiness!!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Fresh Start In A Place Called here
Hey everyone,
I know I haven't updated you people in quite awhile. First of all, I'm currently in UM, KL. Sorry for the late update coz I think I've been experiencing 'jet-lack' since I reached a place called....HERE! (a.k.a UM).
The first day I stepped here which was last Sunday (4th September), the first thing that murdered me was the room. I was like... Why??? I'm totally not gonna survive the week. The better part was mom kept persuading me to think twice and there's still a chance for me to back off if I wanted to. The thing I still can't really get used to is the bathroom though. =S Okay, here goes report one...
To make the day worst, we didn't really understand the discipline system provided here and why everyone was yelling at us. I have to admit, we were already having a shock of our lives( not just me, we had sharing time and almost everyone felt the same). We couldn't even have decent meals since we had to use our hands for one instead of utensils, and to add to the spice; we had to eat really fast. Our PM kept yelling.... "CEPAT MAKAN!!!". Most of us swallowed down so fast, I think I almost choked several times! The first day was the worst, I went to bed and almost cried; thinking things were disastrous and nothing the way it should have been.
Day two and three were brighter since we managed to spend part of our afternoons in the faculty. But, I would pretty much have to admit that I had some bad experiences since I was sick and couldn't quite recover. Oh... Did I mention to you too that on the second day, I was given a task to represent my residential college to participate in a BM debate competition? Believe me, I was like... Oh nooooo you don't! But due to the overload of English debaters and me being crazy, I actually said yes! How ironic was that right?? I know... HAHA. So I had at least something to do besides cheering and all.
The next day, we had to plan our points for the competition. I was so stressed yet sleepy due to two hours sleep for the previous nights. Believe me, I almost fell asleep quite a number of times. Competition was held in the evening after faculty meeting. That's where I wore my first baju kurung since I've been here. Given the task, I had to work with two other debate mates, Shikin and Sham. I hafta admit that they were totally awesome. They helped guide me quite a little and also thankful for our PM's; Han and Aimi. Without both their help, I would have just proly passed out halfway. Anyway, the first day competition sent thrills down my spine. I had stage fright as usual and barely could speak. To me, it was... FAILURE!! Thank God for Sham, he actually pulled our marks up, so we won.
The following day, thank God I could start debating since the topic was related to Facebook. And so, here came my first success of debating. Yeah, I did lack some techniques but at least, I was complimented for fluency in the language. =D
We won the second round so, it was our joy. One more round and to see who made it to the semifinals.
Day four,
We had our usual practise, and this was the day to determine us being in the finals... or not. We didn't win this round so we went back to our rooms in complete devastation and disappointments. However, as night passed, we were told that we actually made it into the finals!! HOW awesome was that??! We had totalled up to 4th place after three days of competing which made us eligible to step into the semi finals.
With much enthusiasm, we practised again.
However, day four, which I thought would be bright started of with PM's banging our door.
Without even brushing our teeth, we had to leap out of bed with the watch pointing its hands at onli 4 am! We dashed out of our rooms, got punished in half sits. Believe me, it's so darn torturing, some people even ended up crying while my body was shivering due to the intensity of the sit for half an hour. If I had to say 'thanks', it would be to those who didn't abide to the rules and yet, all of us were punished for it.
Towards evening, we had our semi finals. I was nervous being the opposition team, yet, managed to keep composure. Since we were competing with the one ranking at 1st place, it made us sweat in our seats and our hearts kept beating all too fast. We tried to made rebuttles, yet, we were curbed by our opponents. However, we didn't win despite our strive; jury being on side 3-2 and a margin of 1.3, we didn't really make it.
Yeah, big disappointment actually; but hey, I didn't even have an experience in debate. And we made it this far to top 4 placing. That's good enough for me.
The next few days, we had our normal activities and resumed til the closing ceremony on friday.
This week had been really tough, I think I only had an average of 14 hours of sleeping for the whole week. Despite the tiresomeness, I'm really glad for this week. I realized that I made some good friends. Friends who I know will be there for me when I need them. We experienced the same pains together and that's what brought forth our bonding to a higher level.
I love both my roommates, my vocalist, coursemates and those who really showed their care towards me throughout orientation week. And to your surprise, I love my PM's too who did everything they could to make our orientation week successful. I know based on this week, that even if things get really tough, there are people around me who will help me on; and also that I'm looking forward to the next three years. Yes, I still miss home, but being here, releases me from pain and gives me a brand new hope.
I'm looking forward to day one of our course today. Will update you guys soon! =)
Loads of love.
Signing off,
Fidelia ~ xoxo
I know I haven't updated you people in quite awhile. First of all, I'm currently in UM, KL. Sorry for the late update coz I think I've been experiencing 'jet-lack' since I reached a place called....HERE! (a.k.a UM).
The first day I stepped here which was last Sunday (4th September), the first thing that murdered me was the room. I was like... Why??? I'm totally not gonna survive the week. The better part was mom kept persuading me to think twice and there's still a chance for me to back off if I wanted to. The thing I still can't really get used to is the bathroom though. =S Okay, here goes report one...
To make the day worst, we didn't really understand the discipline system provided here and why everyone was yelling at us. I have to admit, we were already having a shock of our lives( not just me, we had sharing time and almost everyone felt the same). We couldn't even have decent meals since we had to use our hands for one instead of utensils, and to add to the spice; we had to eat really fast. Our PM kept yelling.... "CEPAT MAKAN!!!". Most of us swallowed down so fast, I think I almost choked several times! The first day was the worst, I went to bed and almost cried; thinking things were disastrous and nothing the way it should have been.
Day two and three were brighter since we managed to spend part of our afternoons in the faculty. But, I would pretty much have to admit that I had some bad experiences since I was sick and couldn't quite recover. Oh... Did I mention to you too that on the second day, I was given a task to represent my residential college to participate in a BM debate competition? Believe me, I was like... Oh nooooo you don't! But due to the overload of English debaters and me being crazy, I actually said yes! How ironic was that right?? I know... HAHA. So I had at least something to do besides cheering and all.
The next day, we had to plan our points for the competition. I was so stressed yet sleepy due to two hours sleep for the previous nights. Believe me, I almost fell asleep quite a number of times. Competition was held in the evening after faculty meeting. That's where I wore my first baju kurung since I've been here. Given the task, I had to work with two other debate mates, Shikin and Sham. I hafta admit that they were totally awesome. They helped guide me quite a little and also thankful for our PM's; Han and Aimi. Without both their help, I would have just proly passed out halfway. Anyway, the first day competition sent thrills down my spine. I had stage fright as usual and barely could speak. To me, it was... FAILURE!! Thank God for Sham, he actually pulled our marks up, so we won.
The following day, thank God I could start debating since the topic was related to Facebook. And so, here came my first success of debating. Yeah, I did lack some techniques but at least, I was complimented for fluency in the language. =D
We won the second round so, it was our joy. One more round and to see who made it to the semifinals.
Day four,
We had our usual practise, and this was the day to determine us being in the finals... or not. We didn't win this round so we went back to our rooms in complete devastation and disappointments. However, as night passed, we were told that we actually made it into the finals!! HOW awesome was that??! We had totalled up to 4th place after three days of competing which made us eligible to step into the semi finals.
With much enthusiasm, we practised again.
However, day four, which I thought would be bright started of with PM's banging our door.
Without even brushing our teeth, we had to leap out of bed with the watch pointing its hands at onli 4 am! We dashed out of our rooms, got punished in half sits. Believe me, it's so darn torturing, some people even ended up crying while my body was shivering due to the intensity of the sit for half an hour. If I had to say 'thanks', it would be to those who didn't abide to the rules and yet, all of us were punished for it.
Towards evening, we had our semi finals. I was nervous being the opposition team, yet, managed to keep composure. Since we were competing with the one ranking at 1st place, it made us sweat in our seats and our hearts kept beating all too fast. We tried to made rebuttles, yet, we were curbed by our opponents. However, we didn't win despite our strive; jury being on side 3-2 and a margin of 1.3, we didn't really make it.
Yeah, big disappointment actually; but hey, I didn't even have an experience in debate. And we made it this far to top 4 placing. That's good enough for me.
The next few days, we had our normal activities and resumed til the closing ceremony on friday.
This week had been really tough, I think I only had an average of 14 hours of sleeping for the whole week. Despite the tiresomeness, I'm really glad for this week. I realized that I made some good friends. Friends who I know will be there for me when I need them. We experienced the same pains together and that's what brought forth our bonding to a higher level.
I love both my roommates, my vocalist, coursemates and those who really showed their care towards me throughout orientation week. And to your surprise, I love my PM's too who did everything they could to make our orientation week successful. I know based on this week, that even if things get really tough, there are people around me who will help me on; and also that I'm looking forward to the next three years. Yes, I still miss home, but being here, releases me from pain and gives me a brand new hope.
I'm looking forward to day one of our course today. Will update you guys soon! =)
Loads of love.
Signing off,
Fidelia ~ xoxo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)