Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Fear I overcomed...

If you asked me to speak in front of a large crowd some time ago... I would say this: NO WAY!!

Here goes:
26th March 2010
Last rehearsal before my life and death(don't forget, I'm a stage fright person). It all begin when I read the news and decided to try myself at a challenge. People always quote that facing your fears will enable you to overcome them.
Anyway, I always think that it's best to hide. So people wouldn't laugh at me. Don't like to be sneered or gossiped at for one thing. Which made me actually lose the guts to try.
But my teacher, Ms.J was really encouraging. :) Thanks teacher.
We had practices the weeks before; and I pretty much enjoyed myself.
Today's the last day of practise. All nerves chill and I'm becoming more nervous.
That goes for my brain too. It freezes and... BaaM!! No information coming out. Now you know my defination of stage fright.
It's night, and I'm surprised that I actually feel tired enough to shut my eyes a few minutes after getting to bed.

27th March 2010
Good morning.. And today's kinda a big day for me... In case you missed it, I HAVE STAGE FRIGHT!! There... I said it.

Gathered out of the hall. Its time to get into the waiting room. We feel really nervous and even worst when everyone else just seem to look so serene. Keish thinks we should all pray. So we do.
The competition goes like this...(I forgot to mention though its public speaking. )
We get called according to the name list. And again, sometimes I wonder why my name begin with an 'F'. ( I do like my name alot, don't get mistaken)
I get 30 minutes to write up and present right after.
God, please give me a good topic. Please don't make me get a shorter life...

"LIFE"
My topic of the day is life. There's so many things to say. Where to begin?? I start writing up my scripts and little notes. My brain can't think again. Process Fi!! I tell myself.
Tick tock!Tick tock!

And next from Penang Chinese Girls High School.....
Crap, my turn is up!!

*Clearing throat*
Good morning ladies and gentlemen, my topic today is 'life'. Are you breathing right now? Are you living right now? In science we learn that an ovum fuses with and egg to form an embryo. After several months, the first heart beat of the embryo is known as... Life...
(Blablabla...I can't mention the whole thing here though)

As I was speaking, I tried to look into the audience eyes. I try not to refer to my notes. But, I got too nervous that I nearly forgot all my points. I repeated slightly. Just to keep the flow going.
End.
Audiences applaud, my teacher smiles at me.

Skipping to the results, didn't quite make it to the finals. I have no idea why everyone thinks I'm sad about it. In fact, I'm really quite satisfied already.
It took more than guts to take the stand and continuously utter without faltering and stopping and running down the stand. But, I did!! I finally finished til the word 'Thank you'.
I never knew that I would actually stand up a crowd and hear myself finally end.
I did it! if only dad and mom were here to celebrate the moment with me.
To me, it's not about the winning. It's that I finally learnt to overcome my fears.
I could speak in a crowd. My own victory. That's what matters most.
You don't have to be a champion, cause your already a winner.

To those out there who are reading, fear comes in every way. Sometimes, we just need to believe in ourselves to overcome them.
So, start believing and you'll make it through!
That's from me for now.
Cheers!!