Thursday, December 31, 2015

Standstill-Phasing

"It began like a journey through the dessert. It felt like the sun dehydrated every single bit of moist on the surface. It was like phasing within a standstill; a change of lifestyle, yet, remaining in a standstill."

Indeed, 2015 began as a rough year. Constantly worried with the thought that I wouldn't have enough was enough to haunt me through. In the midst of all these, I was reminded of Matthew 6:26-30 stating, 
 
26 Look at the birds in the sky! They don’t plant or harvest. They don’t even store grain in barns. Yet your Father in heaven takes care of them. Aren’t you worth more than birds?
27 Can worry make you live longer? 28 Why worry about clothes? Look how the wild flowers grow. They don’t work hard to make their clothes. 29 But I tell you that Solomon with all his wealth wasn’t as well clothed as one of them. 30 God gives such beauty to everything that grows in the fields, even though it is here today and thrown into a fire tomorrow. He will surely do even more for you! 
For two months, I was constantly reminded of the love of God, that He shall supply all my needs. Indeed, never once, did I go hungry. In March, my plate started filling up more than I could ask. I started receiving more job opportunities, money started flowing in, and since then, I have been flooded with His abundance.

Throughout this year, I have not only witness the favour of God in finance, but also in the area of academics. Being a music graduate, I had nil knowledge of the studies in the Health Sciences. Yet, I had to undergo Statistics class, using an program I never knew how to use. For most of you who know me well, I've never been good in technology. I truly thank God for the lovely and helpful friends placed in my class who constantly guided and helped me through every hurdle, PJ, Ginny, Khor. Miraculously, I was able to pass, despite the lack of comprehension in my work until the final week before the exam, and an unhanded assignment. 

"Leaped over one hurdle. There was a even bigger hurdle ahead."

After the first Masters viva, the next problem I encountered was preparing for the methodology phase. Well, right now, I am still in this phase. Wouldn't say that I've completed it yet. But for a period of three months this year, I couldn't retrieve subjects, had problems with documentation and other complication as a researcher. 

So there I was, at a dead end, hoping for nothing else but a miracle to happen. During this whole phase, am truly grateful to Daryl and my best friend who sat patiently running through the software programs with me, designing the experiment despite their busy schedules. With the favour of God, the first half of the experiment ran well, wouldn't deny that there were glitches in between, but managed to launch accordingly. 

Approaching the end of the year, I continued to witness the favour and restoration within my family. 

This year was indeed a very chastising year for me, whereby I was constantly reminded that my faith and trust should be placed in solely in God, and not to be dependent on men. Am glad along the way, there was my family, best friends, and spiritual brothers and sisters who constantly reminded me of the love of God.

It is the last five hours of the year. People keep asking me, what goals do I target for next year? Do I worry about next year? Do I worry because I have let go of the things that mattered most to me? Or do I regret my choices?
Well, I am human, in nature. So yes, I DO worry about tomorrow. Denying that very fact, would mean denying my feelings as a mortal. But as far as I am concerned, I have come to realize that God holds my world in His hands. He has made the impossible, POSSIBLE, so long as I continually keep my eyes focused on Him. And it is because of Him, I know that my future is secure. 

To all my peers, thank you so much for making 2015 an extraordinary and meaningful year for me. 
Blessed New Year!! 

Love,
Fi xoxo