2010

Dear 2010,
You're almost coming to an end. I wonder if you know how much readjustments you've done to me this year. You made me believe, yet; you made me laugh.
Times of which you made me lose hope, I'd be thinking and wishing for a do-over.
You chose this year to be one of the hardest; packaged with the worst exams I've ever sat for so far.
Somehow, you made me realise those who are my real friends and also unveiled my eyes to the one's who aren't. Due to this very reason, you made me careful of whom I should believe in. I wonder if you're happy to know that this will cause me to doubt a person more than ever. Wonder if I'll find another true friend or learn to trust full-heartedly.

2010,
I gained and lost friends along the way. I became both hard and soft in the inside simultaneously. I'm still confused to know if resolving matters results in crying or laughing. I have learnt that you can't attempt the things you don't love.
Life is about being bold, courageous and persevering no matter how hard it is.
Love comes most when it is unexpected. You may think that you don't love someone but it only shows through distance, sadness and jealousy.
Love isn't kind, its really not what's on your mind. It's more about what your heart whispers.

Lesson three, most of the time, darkness comes when you're on your own. You gotta learn how to stand on your own and depend most on God. There's no way out and challenges stands at every corner of your life. There's no such thing as different types of people in different places; because everyone is the same.

Fourth, success is not measured by level of victory; but how many hurdles you have overcomed. Being outspoken is not yelling or being rude, but speaking out your heart in a rational method.

Once again, writing still eases the soul of one when one is down. Its always alright to break down when you need to. Sleep it over and forget the past. Look forward to everyday no matter how dark it seems to be.

Dear 2010, you have made me realise that the future is new when you learn from your mistakes. I know now that the key to moving on is learning, forgiving and forging a new road. It's not succumbing to the past or letting the past reoccur. Taking a new road can mean leaving your painful habits behind.

Also, a guy doesn't always have to be your boyfriend. Guys can be good friends too. People can talk but you don't always have to listen to them. One thing to be sure that of course, you have to know that what you're doing is right.
If an advice is important, heed it. Listen, and try your best no matter how much it takes for a change.

2010, you were one screw up of a year. But if it weren't for you, I'll not have discovered the other half of myself. You make me treasure the precious values of life.

To 2011, I don't wanna make any promises; but I look forward to change. I look forward to a broad future. As night comes before morning, and winter before spring; I close my eyes now to a bright day tomorrow cause the frost is almost melting; and I can see the light coming.

Heard

Do you feel like there's no one listening to you at times? Or like you're almost alone probably cause it's something you can't ask; or something that can't be answered.

I've been asking myself a lot of things for the past couple of months. Why this? Why that? Sometimes, I even ask, God, are you even listening? Or have you just turned silent all of a sudden??

My anger rushes at times til I burst out with streams of tears; thinking there's no way of escape. Like this has been the worst part of my life; not exactly but almost. Things get worst at times and I run heading nowhere. It's like an endless journey with no road signs and everything seems more than anonymous.

Through these times, when I thought no one heard me; I know that God did. I keep doubting Him cause I never understood the plans He has for me. Remember when I said God was silent? He isn't. He just waits to speak at the right time in a unique way to every individual. A good parent loves their child and would never throw anything bad at them. I know that now, and I don't wanna give up.
Faith is my name. On that, was I born. It's so impossible to believe of the plans He has installed for me because I see the view as it is. But God views from the top; an overall view.

As far as I know, I have a reason to look forward to. I may not know what is next, but even if something is intended for the worst, God will turn it to be for the best. To melt our hearts so that we can leap into the change of season.

There's a time when we cry and undergo pain, but there's something beautiful. Most importantly, when you feel like crying, know that there's God. He listens. In fact, His the best listener and He'll open a door for you at the right season at the right time. I did doubt, but I want to have that childlike faith once again.

I don't know the future but God holds it perfectly. I have a tingle that something good is coming. All I have to do now is leap to my Father and trust in Him.

Believe. Faith. Enter the new season.